A wonderful list appeared on several websites, including Tudás Fája. The list helps to realise some of the superpowers that Hungarians possess. These are things we are all capable of… But do not worry; if you were not born Hungarian you can still acquire these abilities with lots of hard work and some pálinka. Disclaimer: reading this list might cause severe pain in the abdominal region due to extreme laughter. Read carefully.
You are probably Hungarian if…
- You have your own god: The God of Hungarian people
- You can swear for ten minutes with one breath, without ever repeating a word or using any synonyms.
- You are proud of Hungarian girls, because they are the most beautiful in the world, even though they have never won any Miss World competitions.
- You have already produced pálinka by using every fruit and vegetable indigenous to your region.
- You are grateful that Hungarians are born to be on the back of a horse (“lóhátra termett”), and not the same size as a horse (“termetre ló”).
“Lóhátra termett” that is the phrase meaning
that Hungarians are born to be on the back of a horse
- You take good use of folk traditions in your everyday life. For instance, if the Euro-Forint exchange rate drops on the day of Medárd, then you will not buy, because it will probably keep dropping for 40 days. (The old folk observation goes: if it rains on the day of Medárd (the 8th of June) then it will keep raining for 40 consecutive days.)
- At the end of a sexual intercourse, you do not “come” like a German or English but “go”
- You can easily continue the following: whup, whup, whup-schoo-whup, whup, whup, schoo-whup-up…
- You wonder why your children are frustrated, while you only read them stories about little girls getting eaten, pouring boiling water on wolves and then killing them, about piglets getting eaten and poisoning an albino girl, and so on. What is more, the nursery rhymes you teach your children include snails with burning houses, mutilated cows, storks with bloody legs, crows with their eyes clawed out and lambs that simply froze to death back in the gardens. (Although some of you might choose the extermination of geese in the latter song.)
- You answer in Hungarian to foreigners who are asking for directions in English. Alright, you, at least speak slow and much louder, so that they can understand it
- When your mother calls, her first question is whether or not you have eaten already today
- Zou cannot write on the English kezboard because the letters y and z are switched
- You do not rush things: who gives a damn about Lajos Kossuth’s message that he ran out of his regiment? When he sends word again, then you may consider deciding to act. (The folksong goes: “Louis Kossuth’s sent a message / That he has run out of the regiment / Should he send another message / Every one of us will have to go then / Hurrah to the Hungarian freedom, hurrah to the home”)
- You have special knowledge about the secrets of the universe like people of no other nation have. You know that mindenki másképp csinálja (Everybody does it differently), that nehéz a boldogágtól búcsút venni (Saying goodbye to happiness is difficult), that mindenkinek van egy álma (Everyone has a dream), that citrom ízű banán nincs a banánfán (There’s no lemon-flavoures banana on the banana tree) and the top top-secret: sajtból van a hold (The moon is made of cheese). Moreover, you are familiar with the colour of the little girl at the piano (Kislány a zongoránál). (For those who are not, let me share some wisdom: she is whiter than the lilac)
- You emphasise wherever you go that the Hungarian language is the most beautiful language, bazmeg!
What would you add to this list? If you need more ideas, check out our previous post or wait, because we have more to come!