Things you should know before dating a Hungarian
Dating someone who comes from a different culture can be tough and confusing at times. Especially if you are dating a Hungarian. The Hungarian culture is very unique, not to mention the language. Here’s all you need to know before dating a Hungarian. Although, some of these things are heavily generalised.
Good cooks
Most tourists would agree that Hungarian cuisine is one of the best ones in the world. By dating a Hungarian, you could eat all of these delicious dishes all the time. Just imagine… Although, if you do not like paprika, maybe you should keep that a secret. In Hungary, paprika goes into everything. Stuffed cabbage, salami, Goulash, stew, everything. If you are planning to date a Hungarian, you should keep in mind that food is of key importance in Hungarian culture. Sunday lunch is a sacred weekly tradition in most households. On Sunday lunches, people usually eat meat soup and Schnitzel as the main course. Traditional desserts are very popular as well.
Strict fathers
Most Eastern European cultures share the stereotype of the strict and overly protective father. After all, fathers want the best for their daughters. However, most dads will not investigate your annual income, future plans, and such right away. When meeting the parents for the first time, make sure to accept pálinka. Pálinka is the national spirit of Hungary. It is considered rather rude to refuse a shot of pálinka. Hungarians often celebrate big events, birthdays, weddings, etc. with pálinka, so you should be prepared for that. Elderly Hungarians even believe that this alcoholic drink cures headaches and stomachaches.
In addition, Hungarian are great hosts. The parents will probably try to make you as comfortable as possible each time you visit. By cooking your favourite meal, making delicious desserts, and of course, deep-cleaning the whole house beforehand to make a good impression.
Never satisfied
Some foreigners tend to think that Hungarians are never satisfied or happy. It is because they show less feelings usually, but they do feel satisfaction and happiness deep inside. However, many Hungarians are pessimistic. According to historians, Hungarian history was so dark and full of tragic happenings that Hungarians expect the worst at all times. To keep the spirits up, Hungarians like to crack a joke. In general, people in Hungary have a good sense of humour.
Hard to come up with date ideas
If you do not speak Hungarian, it might be hard to come up with great date ideas. Even if you are planning a classic cinema date, most films are in Hungarian. However, you can check out our suggestions for English cinemas in Budapest HERE. If you are looking for further date ideas, you should read our recommendations HERE.
What are your experiences with dating a Hungarian? Comment down below!
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11 Comments
The experience here is not good. This includes friendships as well. The friendship is very close as long as you are useful to a Hungarian.
A lot of gossiping, cursing, and scolding, the word “whore” is used easily, and dirty households and no great meals at all. Same for restaurants throughout the country.
The parents are not the problem (kind and interested), but money, envy and stereotypical ideas about foreigners are. There is always some envy mainly based on nothing and ideas far from the truth.
It is hard to find some people to have a decent conversation with but they are there.
Birthdays are easily forgotten which might be an issue for foreigners.
There is a huge difference between being depressed, pessimistic or realistic.
I think Hungarians do show their emotions unless you are blind to it.
Perhaps the average Hungarian tends to be more introverted than extroverted.
Indeed a part is pessimistic, a part might be depressed and a part is realistic (nothing wrong with that), but that counts for every nation especially, with the present (world/EU) situation.
Positive is that Hungarians are tough. If it comes to it they will survive no matter the circumstances. Surviving bad times, and doing more with less is in their DNA. They still remember how it was so easily line up and wait.
Alcohol is an issue just like smoking. Can be refusing Pálinka is a big NO but if drinking alcohol is the only way to fit in, I can say that is only sad.
It feels as if Hungarians are lazy and they do not work hard, especially the men. Women do very heavy work and work nonstop. Men are a bit too often in a pub. Still, if it comes to it the work is finished in time. This makes one wonder how come so many more people are needed abroad to do the same, while the job is never finished.
Btw I have very strong doubts about the present 25+ years old still knowing how to cook (male and female), bake and keep the house tidy, but like everywhere habits change, and with a mixed relationship both sides should compromise. In the end, love, liking each other and a good laugh are all that counts.
For the comment above… I dont know who you dated but as a Hungarian, i cook great, never use the word whore, i work very hard and every other Hungarians i know (abroad, as i am loving in Ireland ) does work very hard. Maybe you picked the wrong one but…🤷🏻‍♂️ Irish dudes wont even buy flowers… My Irish partner was surprised when i bought her flowers just because why not….i never forget birthdays or name days… đź‘Ť
KC is wrong in many of their points. Hungarians are anything but lazy, way off. They are not dirty, and most are way better cooks than the average “ western “. Your palate might be off depending on where you are from. I see plenty of dirty households in america. Americans think europeans are dirty. Couldnt be farther from the truth. Its actually in reverse. Lazyness is widespread in north america. Probably most western countries. I agree with alcohol and the gossiping and the envy. Still drugs are everywhere in western countries, while the drug laws are strictly enforced in hungary. The article is a bit vague, but the strict parenting is right on.
Kinda funny generalities. I’m third generation in the USA grandparents and parents Hungarian. Hard working. Love to cook. Love baking especially. Loud,Fun,Freindly,Funny & good looking people. Accepting of all nationalities.
About the food is not true. I live in Hyngary and one of the worst food in Europe. Camuflaging food with spices…
KC must be american, they are the ones who use so much additives that their palettes are destroyed. We have various tasty foods.
I know a good number of clean freaks, but a difference might be that we don’t have “pave-over-the-world” mentality so we have more greenery and ground poking into the country.
I do in fact swear a lot, but barely anyone else I know.
What we show is not envy, it is a distaste for the wasteful greed of some other countries.
You can actually refuse alcohol by simply stating you’re abstinent, but country-side elders and university students might looks at you like you had rabies.
We remember birthdays, of close friends, we just don’t throw around our affection to anyone we’ve just met. This goes for not just birthdays but everything else. We tend to keep three circles of friends, the real close friends (sometimes we refer to them as our “actual family”), friends, and associates, and we heavily differentiate between the three.
Women and men both do their parts in activities, while men do the heavier parts, women do the ones that take more time (around the house).
And we do actually differentiate between depressed, pessimistic, and realistic.
We do also hold stereotypes, as any sane person should. If you’ve dealt with something for long enough that all your people have a stereotype about it, then maybe you should heed that instead of “stereotype bad”.
I’m a foreign person living in Hungary for over 10 years and the comment above by KC is so wrong.
I have had 2 long term relationships with Hungarian women while I’ve been here and will be getting married to my fiance next year.
In both my relationships their families were welcoming and kind. Homes were clean and nice, even if they didn’t have a lot of money. They always remembered birthdays and even wanted me to have a name day, despite that I’d never had one before.
Most Hungarians I know (men and women) work hard and take traditional family life very seriously,
Hungarians are very honest people and that might be confusing for some. The comment above talks about a lot of envy and I’d suggest that some people are typically envious or jealous people and they exist everywhere, it might just be more obvious with a Hungarian. If they are the type of people you want to avoid, at least in Hungary you know who they are. In other countries they are good at hiding it and they just talk behind your back.
My advice to anyone wanting to be in a relationship with a Hungarian is, don’t expect a casual fling. You must get to know them and their family. Invite them to your home too, don’t just expect to be invited to theirs. If you are a good match, commit to them and “get involved”. If you are a good partner in life as well as the relationship and involve yourself with the family, then you will be fully accepted and treated very well.
One more thing about the food: The food in Hungary is so great and varied and there’s a huge choice, you won’t like everything but you will definitely find things you love. Like in any country there’s bad places to eat but there’s also restaurants that will rival any in the world. Hungary is a whole country with good and bad, from food to people but the best people and the best food here are some of the best you’ll find anywhere.
To KC,
I think you were in wrong company. 🙂
Hungarians are hard working people, the food is great. They complain a lot, that is true but it is some sort of habit and a way of socialising. They complain to each other about the same thing and that gives them satisfaction. They don’t have a bad life though, hot summer, cold winter, holidays every summer, a lot of delicious fruit (I wish we would have them here in the UK), and home grown vegetables. Smoked sausages and ham are excellent. People are a bit loud sometimes, over sharing but honest. If you have a real friend, they would share the last bite of bread with them if needed. Tough people.
I met a very shy, sensitive and serious Hungarian girl in Oxford. She is intelligent and has studied hard. We became friends and then we worked together as colleagues. It took a very long time to build a close relationship. I visited with her family, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and extended relationships. They all were hospitable and made me welcome. I came to love them all and to be loved. Food has been basic, simple, wholesome and tasty. Mostly everyone works hard. Mostly everyone had little money. I love Hungary, it’s people, it’s beauty and the culture. After six years the friendship with this wonderful woman became more trusting and after seven years we married in the Netherlands where we now live happily. Unfortunately the situation in Hungary has become oppressive and the country has become isolated which means that there are few opportunities. Large numbers of educated and talented Hungarians leave to live and work abroad. My partner and myself have settled in the Netherlands. I wish it were otherwise. Hungarians I have met work hard.
As a foreigner who actually dated a Hungarian (and married him!) and spent years in both of our cultures, I would add this:
1. They and their family will ask personal questions about your weight, income, intelligence, and comment on your body – you will simultaneously be too fat and too skinny, and regardless, you will never be eating enough. You must learn not to take things personally before dating a Hungarian.
2. There is no “political correctness” so if you’re sensitive about race, gender, orientation, or class, brace yourself. Hungarians must be trained in US politics before being unleashed on the American public, at the risk of death.
3. Date a Transylvanian (or other minority) Hungarian – they know what it’s like to be “different” and have more perspective on being (and treating) outsiders
4. They are EXTREMELY close to their families, so if you’re not into in-laws, have codependency, or abandonment issues, this might not be the culture for you. You WILL be sharing your Hungarian.
5. The food really is amazing, unless you’re gluten-free, dairy-free, or vegan. Flour, sour cream, and sausage is literally EVERYTHING.
6. They will force you by law to drink alcohol and eat (more) food. If you really really can’t, I’ve been told to tell them I’m German, which signifies that I actually mean what I say the first time.
7. They keep score. Always give a gift of greater or equal value than the one they last gave you.
8. “You can stay with me, I have an extra room” means there is a dusty mattress buried in a closet somewhere that is in no way ready to be used, nor does it have linens.
9. “Come over for food” means they have beer, and one should not expect plates, utensils, or… food.
10. 9:00 means 10:30, or possibly next Thursday.
11. Hungarians take “Hi, how are you?” literally. If you use this as a greeting, be prepared to hear about their week. This is, in fact, the best way to start the relationship!
As far as palinka goes home made often beats anything from the store and you would be surprised at how much home made you can drink without a hangover the next day. Two weeks of a good time over there is about all I can endure with all of the alcohol. By day 15 I had to politely tell my mother-in-law please no more. Flowers are standard for the lady of the home when you show up and bring a bottle of wine as well. There are, of course, class divisions over there and swearing would be an indicator. I have to agree with Larry Gardiner’s assessment. I can see, of course, where I am in Canada it is much better than making a living in Hungary but my son knows in business there is even much more opportunity in the US and he will probably end up there at some point. If you have talent and ambition the US has been the place to be for a century now and maybe for another century. That is why the US has been so successful – freedom and opportunity.