When I met Neil Strauss
The Sharjah International Book Fair (SIBF) was a success again this year, bringing publishers, authors and readers together once again for almost two weeks. In fact, celebrities you’re unlikely to run into at any other time were invited to the event. Neil Strauss attended a lecture and I had the chance to interview him briefly afterwards.
Neil Strauss is a double favorite of mine, not only because he is a very good writer who, with The Game, for example, has brought to the table an extraordinary work on the art of conquest, but also because he is, in a sense, a colleague. A ten-time New York Times bestselling author, the Rolling Stone magazine figurehead has interviewed a number of celebrities, and I had the opportunity to listen to a lecture and ask him a few questions in person.
The impact of celebrity books on our world
Books written by and about celebrities are among the most popular genres among readers worldwide, topping the bestseller lists. But why do celebrities impress readers? Neil Strauss and Egyptian screenwriter Ahmed Mourad, who writes both fiction and non-fiction in Arabic, sought to answer this question.
The performance was also interesting in the sense that it brought together two different and rich cultures on stage. There was Strauss from the US and Mourad, an Arab writer well-known to locals. There were some things they agreed on, but also, for example, differing opinions on the audience’s overwhelming obsession with celebrity accounts and memoirs.
“We usually have one image of celebrities in our minds, and their real story turns out to be completely different. This helps us feel better about our own lives and problems. What fascinates me about interviewing celebrities is that we think money and fame will solve all our problems. But they only make our problems bigger. I remember it was Bruce Springsteen who said, ‘The human psyche is not designed to go from playing music in a garage to playing on a stage in front of 75,000 people,'” Strauss said.
In contrast, Ahmed Mourad believes that the adoration of famous people’s lives is “part of human nature”:
“It’s the nature of humanity: in our minds, famous people are close to fictional characters. Our own lives may not give us the opportunity to experience these worlds they live in,” said the Egyptian writer.
Celebrities’ stories reach even more people in the age of social media, with many posting every detail of their lives online. Strauss sees books, as opposed to short entries, as the real value, because, he said, a book gives you the opportunity to tell a story well. “Their struggles, their difficulties, and their journey can only be captured in a proper narrative. It has also become much harder for celebrities to get their stories out there these days, as every little detail can be analysed and torn apart,” he said.
Mourad took an interesting approach to celebrity books. According to him, recording the lives of celebrities can be as important as any other record in terms of preserving human memories and values. “If celebrities don’t tell their stories, we risk losing important parts of their lives forever. We must learn to accept their stories without criticism or analysis.”
Both writers accepted that celebrity stories are as important to storytelling as any other format.
On the subject, Strauss made a very thought-provoking statement.
“We’ve all been through a lot. We want to move on, we want to move beyond our lives. It’s just that celebrities get paid to write it!”
Interview with Neil Strauss
It was getting very late when the fans finally let Neil Strauss go after the show, so I only had the chance for a short interview, but here I learned that Bruce Springsteen was his most sympathetic and relaxed interviewee. As Neil put it, he has been one of the most famous musicians in the world for decades, yet he drives without bodyguards, drives his own car, walks the streets of New York and even sits in a bar without any problems and is very easy to talk to. Unlike many celebrities, you can’t even sit in a restaurant with them without bodyguards, and the conspicuousness attracts crazy fans.
Strauss has met many stars in his life, but to him, the most memorable location and interviewee was Italy’s Calabria region and the person he spoke to there: he conducted a lengthy interview with a mafia leader. As he said, it was a special experience to be there, even in the home of the family leader.
It was also an outstanding experience to interview Chuck Berry, Strauss said. According to him, one of rock and roll’s most important personalities never gave a longer interview because he hated journalists, but somehow they found common ground and talked for three hours, and he invited Strauss to his house the next day.
I was very interested in the journalistic trick of how he was able to get some of the world’s most famous celebrities in for interviews early in his career. Strauss said: whatever it takes!
“Sometimes it’s Rolling Stone magazine or the New York Times, other times you have to find someone they trust, and that’s how you find and interview the celebrity. There was one of the latest big hits, Elon Musk. There was someone who knew both of them and that’s how the meeting came about. So the first challenge is to set up the meeting, and the second challenge is to get as much access to the person as possible, and to get a glimpse into their real life that no one else has had the opportunity to see.”
Regarding his famous book, The Game, he said that he was approached by a group of “date artists” and they wanted him to write a book about them. He turned them down at first, then, because he wasn’t that successful with women, he joined the group privately, and once he was in and really fascinated by the whole story, he decided that yes, it was worth a book. The rest is history and he has certainly helped millions of men to be successful in dating.
I find Strauss to be an extremely interesting and often philosophical man, it’s worth following his Instagram account for example, he shares a lot of his thoughts there too. I asked him what he felt was missing in his life. What’s the big thing that he still wants to do? And his answer is simple, yet noble:
I’d like to see my son grow up, and then I’d like to write books or podcasts or whatever. The first part of life is more like survival, the second part is there to develop deep relationships with people, and most importantly, be good to yourself!
As for Hungary, he said he’s been here before, but not very recently, so he definitely wants to get to Budapest soon. Orlando Bloom invited him to the Hungarian capital when the American actor was filming here, but Strauss couldn’t take the opportunity. However, he insisted that he loved Budapest and that if he comes again, we should meet and continue our conversation.
I am ready and waiting to meet him.
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