I hate spiders, in fact, all insects. Hi, I am Anna, 40 years old woman. Like most of the others, I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a mother. I have a beautiful small family. I am blessed with everything that I need or maybe I am happy with what I have.
Zsuzsi, my best friend, now in Thailand enjoying her vacation. She called me yesterday, and we were talking for almost an hour. Looks like she is in heaven. I am happy but also a bit sad since I did not go with her. My daughter Emma, 5 years old cute and most beautiful daughter in the world, sleeping in her room. This is the only time I get to do what I want. Zsuzsi shared her travel photos with me. I am going through one by one, trying to feel the adventures that Zsuzsi is experiencing now.
She is always like this, an adventurous woman.
When we were in the university, she never hesitated to take part in sports, camping, parties, and adventure trips. I remained a shy girl, cautious, not sporty, and always rely on others. I think this is how I grow up. I never get a chance to stress my small brain. I was always a cute, innocent, and studious girl. Everyone liked me, respected me, and loved me. I was never left alone in my life. My parents, my brother, my friends always there for me and took care of me. I think I never complained about anything except not being courageous. Sometimes it makes me feel I am worthless, and I become depressed.
I still remember those university days. We were choosing a partner to share our rooms. Everyone wanted me as their roommate, but it was Zsuzsi I shared my room with her. That night around 10, Zsuzsi was out for a party. I was going back to my room thinking of tomorrow’s schedule. As usual, I opened the door with my keys, and I saw a big spider hanging in front of me!
I was stunned and scared. I felt I am dead.
I ran away from my room. I was shivering and wanted to scream, but I did not. I do not know why I scare of spiders and insects. This always made me think, why am I not normal like other girls? Why am I too cautious? Because of this fear, I avoided late-night parties and camping. Hmm… still searching answers for to these questions. Many times, I tried to act like a strong girl, but I know I am not!
I started waiting for Zsuzsi to return from the party. I was afraid to ask my other friends, they may make fun of me and the next day I will be in the spotlight in my class. I was anxiously waiting for Zsuzsi,
blaming myself for not being courageous.
Finally, at the midnight Zsuzsi arrived. I was angry at her and with a high tone “why you are so late? you know what happened …” I told her everything what has happened in one breath. Calmly she looked at me and realized that I am scared and nervous. She smiled at me, hold my hands and we walked to the room.
This is not the only incident in my life, there are many. I was famous in the university with the name Miss delicate. My brother Peti always teases with this name. But he is my hero. When we were kids, I was always under an impression that I must take care of him since he is 3 years younger than me. But I was wrong, he always took care of me. He was courageous, strong, and funny too. We spend our childhood in the small city. I remember that rainy late evening, our parents were out for a family event. Peti and I were at our house watching a cartoon. Everything was going well, we were enjoying the cartoon, eating some snacks, and laughing together. Suddenly, the power went off. It became dark everywhere and it was raining too. I was panicked, scared, and started crying. It was Peti, he holds me, and he was with me for a while. After some time, he got the courage to get up and search for the candle. I was still scared and asking him to not go far from me.
But he was brave enough to go to the kitchen and search for the candle.
I still laugh at myself when I remember this incident. I was always surprised where he got that courage. Anyways, from that day he was my cute hero. Some strong beliefs grew up towards him. There were many such things happened so far. Someone was there to take care of me, solve my problems, making sure that I am safe from all worries. Sometimes I think it’s a blessing and sometimes I feel bad because I am not courageous.
I continued the Zsuzsi’s travel photos. She visited the famous Zoo.
Oh my god, she was holding a yellow phyton in her hand,
and I am scared of snakes, skipped those frightening photos. Ah, there was a tiger cub, so cute. Zsuzsi is feeding the tiger cub! What a lifetime experience it is. Hmm… unfortunately, I am not like Zsuzsi. But she always considers me as her sister and Emma as her daughter. We are the family for her. I continued the photos, suddenly I heard the scream of Emma “Anya!”, “Anya!”.
I jumped out from the sofa, my next step was in her room. She was scared, her eyes were wet, and
her little hand was pointing to a SPIDER on the floor.
Without a second thought, I jumped on that spider with my barefoot. I killed that ugly spider! I went back to Emma took her in my arms.
I came out of the room carrying Emma in my arms. My mobile was lying on the floor. I am puzzled now. Lots of questions are flying around me. I am grateful to those small hands showing me the unexplored power within me.
Now I am waiting for Zsuzsi’s call. She will be happy to listen to this.