I do not aim to strengthen harmful stereotypes about Hungarian people. I am simply here to write about three crucial things to consider if you are dating a Hungarian.
Daily News Hungary already touched upon the topic of international dating when Dating Beyond Borders came up with it You know you are dating a Hungarian girl when… video. The video focused on the more generalised and funny aspects of Hungarian culture; like how we love our pálinka, or how we say puszi [kiss on the cheek] when we say goodbye (a term dangerously close to a slang term for female genitalia in English).
Even though the video’s main purpose was to entertain and make us laugh, it did raise a few interesting questions. How different is it to date a Hungarian from dating people with other nationalities? Do we have certain characteristics that make dating us easier, harder, or simply different from anyone else? Are there any advice we could give? Let’s dive into these questions, shall we?
I would like to state that I do not want to say anything about Hungarians in general, because everyone is different, we all come from different walks of life, professions, upbringing, etc. I can, however, say a few things based on myself and my thoughts as a Hungarian woman, and also based on the other Hungarians I am close to. When I write we or Hungarians, I am reffering to myself and those I personally know. If you are Hungarian, feel free to disagree with me on any of these points, and let’s start a discussion.
When dating a Hungarian, consider the following three things:
Negetavity – stereotype or reality?
Everyone knows the joke that you should never ask a Hungarian “How are you?” because they won’t be hesitant to share every little complaint and grievance they have at the moment. It is definitely a stereotype that Hungarians love to complain. I do not love to complaint. However, I do agree that we are characterised by a certain pessimism and cynical worldview. We also tend to have that dry Hungarian sense of humour, which (for us at least) makes this pessimism a little bit more tolerable and entertaining.
If you decide to date a Hungarian, be prepared that they might not be those partners who are always there to lift you up with their sunny demeanour and positivity.
To put it another way, we are most probably the Chandlers in any relationship.
Be careful with compliments
You should be prepared that a Hungarian will not take your flirty compliment as smoothly as you would expect. I believe this is because we are not a “complimenting nation,” which is a shame. We are not used to praising others or hearing others praise us.
To give you an example, my friend has worked at her new job for several months, and no one told her anything about her performance. She was starting to get really nervous, so she asked her boss if she was doing everything OK. Her boss said: “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you if you do something wrong”. This pretty much sums it up. It is no different in the dating world.
I am generalising, but most of the people I know have no idea how to react to a compliment because they are not used to getting one (not a genuine one at least). If you mix this attitude up with the American way for example (the kingdom of empty compliments and fake niceties), be prepared for chaos. Depending on your tone, some girls might take it as an insult, thinking you are trying to mock them. Others might get extremely uncomfortable with your compliment, and as they do not know how to accept it, they will come up with a sassy response.
This does not mean that you should not compliment a Hungarian of course, but do not be disappointed if they do not respond in the way you would expect. Too much complimenting is definitely a big no-no though.
No superfluous gifts of any kind
Hungary is not a rich nation, the minimum wage is ridiculously low, and the majority of people live pay check to pay check. Therefore,
we are not willing to pay for something if we think the price is unreasonably high, and we definitely do not buy superfluous stuff that we do not need, and neither should you.
We are hesitant about taking expensive gifts, and we will tell you how crazy you are, and how we cannot accept it. It is OK to save money for something big and useful like a much needed vacation or a car if you are commuting to work everyday, but the great expense has to have a purpose. Do not buy crazy expensive flowers or champagne. We will think it’s pretentious and dumb. (Of course if you are dating someone from the 100 richest Hungarians list, this might not apply to you.)
The good news is that you can plan for the long term. You can be endgame, because if you are dating a Hungarian between the ages 20-35, they are most likely open to move abroad with you.
Source: Daily News Hungary