According to, Hungarians seem to be very creative when it comes to playing truants. Listed below are some of the best excuses from fare-dodgers that are unforgettable for ticket-inspectors.

“What ticket? You hear that Peti?! Is this the entrance of Sziget Festival or what?”

“As you can see, I am 8-months pregnant. I don’t have to buy a ticket for the child until school and I am with a child, sooo…”

‘The only reason I got on is to be in an air-conditioned place because it is freaking hot outside. It is really annoying that this thing moves with me but since I don’t want to go anywhere, I ignore it and rest in the cool. I’ll take a ride, and then come back to Moszkva, get off and it will be just like nothing had happened.”

“Can you see that guy in a black T-shirt over there? Now, when I validated my ticket, he took it out of my hand! Can you see him holding my ticket? That is MY ticket but he has a gun so I didn’t want to oppose him.”

“Dear Sir, I have a season ticket to the Opera House. This includes a trip back and forth to the Opera. Why else do you think it costs so much?!”

“When I got on, I validated my ticket, showed it to the driver just as I was supposed to do. Then I threw it on the ground. Yes, I can see that there are no trashcans but it is our country’s fault, why the hell can’t they put trashcans on trams?! They force us to throw everything on the ground! What kind of country is this?!”

“Even you know that this is harassment! I am a 67-year-old retired housewife and I know my rights! I am sitting here peacefully and you come over to harass me! Leave me alone, otherwise I’ll report you for violating my identity!”

“I don’t have a ticket. Do you? You are also travelling, right?”

“I travel for free because my father is Imre Kovács…It is not my fault that you don’t know him, but he is one of the shareholders of BKV and all of his relatives travel for free.”

“The dog doesn’t have a ticket because it is a cat…A Hungarian deerhound? No, it is not a deerhound. Yes, it does look like a deerhound but it is a Persian-dachshund- German shepherd – tabby mixture cat, you see? The way it sits is typical. A deerhound sits totally differently.”

“The reason why the dog doesn’t have a muzzle is that it doesn’t bite. Yes, I can see that it weighs around 60 kilograms but that is why he is very slow. Biting is an instinctive, quick reflex but this dog doesn’t bite because it is big and slow.”

“I am sorry, but I don’t have time to get off now because I have to hurry home, I left the pasta cooking but I’d like to invite you for a coffee if you have time, you can wait for the lunch and we’ll talk till then.”

“I don’t have a ticket but I have a bottle of Whiskey which cost 32 thousand forints so if you drink half of it, we’re good.”

“ Yeeeaah, I know you, you’re always here on the tram! Are you a type of mobile homeless?”

“Please go away, I am contagious…it is a serious illness that spreads with air and speech…no, no I’m not showing you anything for your safety, I’m telling you, go away, I am contagious!! Go away, do you want to die??!!”

“I am sorry but I’m deaf-and-dumb. Yes, yes deaf-and-dumb!”

“Look, I have diarrhoea and if you start teasing me, things won’t end happily. Let’s get off, I’ll run into the closest McDonald’s and you’ll wait for me. You can even drink a coffee; I’ll pay for it but let me get off now!”

“Do sea stars travel for free? Well, that is great because as you can see I am dressed as one, I’m coming from my kid’s carnival and everyone can see that I am a sea star. Yes, I am! I don’t have an ID, how would a marine creature have one? Does Sponge Bob have a driver’s license? Right! Look, I have a mushroom costume in my bag, I turn away and you can put it on…no I cannot get off, can’t you see that I am sea star? LET ME GO! LET ME GO! SQUIDWARD HELP ME!”


Copy editor: bm


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