The things that make an expat not miss Hungary
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In another article, Manci Pethes wrote about the experiences and memories that make an expat miss Hungary. In this companion piece also published on nlcafe.hu, she ruminates about the reverse side. “As long as the borders are still open, everyone should decide where they want to live”, she writes. “At home or somewhere else, with or without compromises. One thing is sure: no one is less Hungarian for being physically further away from home.”
Pethes starts her article by quoting the 1836 Szózat (Summons or Appeal), the “second anthem of Hungary” after Himnusz written by Mihály Vörösmarty:
In the great world outside of here
There is no place for you
May fortune’s hand bless or beat you
Here you must live and die! [transl. László Kőrössy]
“The 19th century with its revolutionary times and freedom fights is long gone. Still, we are repeating this mantra from the age of 6. It is recited several times a year at school functions and state celebrations, and we are chanting its words without real interpretation like little lambs.
But is this healthy? Do we need this kind of guilt as a nation, an individual, a child? How long should the effect of a historical period last? (…) Who decides what we wash our brains and soul with? These solemn, ceaselessly repeated words pervade us and become part of our identity. They install fear and inhibitions in us, while the aim of a nation (if such a thing exists) should be self-improvement, a happy and active life. I prefer ‘Influence, create, contribute [so that the nation will rise]’ [another famous quote by Ferenc Kölcsey], if we really insist on poetry and mantras.”
A breath of fresh air
“The reason behind my emigrating was obvious: I wanted to live in a place where I do not waste my energy on other people’s mental frustrations. The nervousness I saw at home, which was only to increase before the upcoming elections, proved to be too much for me. Maybe someone with a stronger personality can tolerate the “general mindset” of her country. I could not.
And, as soon as I stepped out of Hungary, I felt like I could breathe more easily. Both the Czech Republic and Portugal were extraordinary experiences for me. People smile, and there is joie de vivre in the eyes of the elderly instead of hate and empathy.
