Hungary is open about buying Russian oil as it has no other option, Péter Szijjártó, the foreign minister, said on Friday, insisting that “other European countries secretly buy Russian oil using a roundabout route because it is cheaper”.
After a meeting of the Hungary-Azerbaijan Joint Economic Committee, Szijjártó was asked at a press conference to comment on US President Donald Trump’s recent statement calling on European countries to stop buying Russian oil.
He said the most thunderous critics of Hungary and Slovakia for their oil purchases were hypocrites, as many also bought Russian oil at a discount “through certain Asian countries”. “They buy Russian oil secretly because it is cheaper,” he said. “We buy Russian oil openly because we have no other option,” he added.
Noting the physical nature of the issue of energy supplies, he said Hungary had to cooperate with Russia to ensure the security of its supply since the EU had rebuffed its request to help in enhancing gas supplies through south-east Europe, while Croatia had increased transit fees to five times the European benchmarks instead of cooperating on the expansion of transit infrastructure.
Meanwhile, asked about the opposition Tisza Party’s tax plans, Szijjártó referred to one-time Socialist prime minister Ferenc Gyurcsány, saying that Gyurcsány had admitted to lying during the election campaign, and now Tisza had let it be known that it had been lying during the election campaign, adding that Tisza had succeeded in sinking even lower than Gyurcsány.
Asked about the Azerbaijan-Armenia peace process, he said Hungary saw this as a boon for developing East-West transport links in the entire region. A new agreement, when it becomes a reality, would “give new impetus” to transit opportunities, benefitting not only Armenia and Azerbaijan but all countries in terms of freight transport and the movement of people.
Hungary, he said, is building its section of the transport corridor, investing in railways and roads to enhance freight transport possibilities.
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I will tell you exactly why Hungary buys Russian oil – corruption. Orban signed a secret deal with Putin in Nov 2021. That’s how Fidesz kleptocrats get their money. Every deal is secret. They get kickbacks from Russia that go into their pockets from these oil and gas purchases. In return they are required to act as Russia’s proxy within the EU and NATO blocking aid to Ukraine, blocking NATO expansion and acting as a disruptive force within the two organizations making Europe weaker to benefit Russia. Putin bought Hungary and Hungarians are now honourary “Little Russians”.
So, according to this mastermind theory, Orbán has secretly signed a deal with Putin in November 2021. I mean, November 2021—because that’s when every world-shaking, top-secret international agreement totally happens, right? Not at some high-stakes summit, no, no, just on some rainy Tuesday behind closed doors. Orbán, the man who somehow manages to survive every EU summit by making deals and pulling political stunts, suddenly decides to sell Hungary out for oil money. Because, yeah, nothing says “master of international diplomacy” like secretly getting kickbacks from a dictator while pretending to be his best European buddy.
And what’s even better? These kickbacks—they’re so covert that not a single person in Hungary or Europe has noticed. That’s right, not a single person. The entire Hungarian government, all of Orbán’s cronies, every government official, the journalists, the EU members… none of them can even smell a whiff of these supposedly massive secret payments that would make a king blush. Total invisibility cloak stuff here. The kind of cloak that makes Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak look like a child’s nap blanket.
Now, better again: Orbán’s entire job is to block NATO aid to Ukraine, and to make Europe weaker for Putin, right? Like he’s some kind of evil puppet master, pulling the strings of international relations. But wait: Orbán’s also, like, holding onto this super-important NATO membership for Hungary. You’d think if he’s so deep in bed with Russia, he’d just, oh, I don’t know, leave NATO altogether? But nope, he just sits there in the middle, being all “Hey, I’m with NATO, but also with Putin, but mostly, I’m just blocking everything I can for fun.” Classic Orbán move, just twiddling his thumbs while playing both sides, like an international James Bond villain who’s really bad at his job.
And then, of course, the best part of this entire theory: Hungarians are now somehow “honorary Little Russians.” Sure, because a government making shady oil deals, secret deals unknown to the world only to good old Larry, means the entire population must suddenly be mentally and culturally absorbed into the Russian fold. That’s like saying because your neighbor buys pizza every Friday night, you must secretly be Italian, and all of your family must be in on it, too. We’re talking about millions of people who, just a few decades ago, overthrew the Soviet influence. But now they’re all “Well, guess we’re just going to wave the Russian flag and sing Russian songs now, because, you know, oil and money.”
It’s genius, really. A whole nation, transformed overnight into honorary Russians because one political leader signed a deal for some oil. Forget historical context, geopolitics, or even basic common sense, this theory relies on pure, undiluted fantasy. It’s like assuming every time your friend buys a coffee from Starbucks, they’re secretly working for the coffee bean mafia and plotting to overthrow the global economy.
Basically, this whole theory is a masterclass in “let’s twist and distort the facts so much that they break into a hundred tiny pieces, and then glue them back together with pure imagination and zero logic.” Straight-up cuckoo masterclass.